Monday, March 22, 2010

Health Care Tips, From Our Sibling To The North





I really used to hate Canadians. No, I mean it. With they way they slaughter the pronunciation of any word with 'ou' in it. But, you know, I got over it and I'm glad I did because we have some good friends up there who are looking out (pronounced owt, not oat) for us. Take Right Girl for example. She is looking out for us suckers to the south (pronounced sowth, not soath) and passing along a little medical care 101. God Bless Her!
So Americans, here’s a few tips, from one “free” “health” “care” sucker to another:

* Expand your home first aid kit to include a defibrillator, gallons of rubbing alcohol, ether if you can get your hands on it, and a dozen brand-new, sparkling clean x-acto knives
* Learn to give stitches
* Get over any squeamishness about lancing boils or any other messy-but-simple procedures - you’re on your own now
* Keep enough cold medicine on hand, and don’t run to the doctor for sore throats
* Learn to recognize dangerous childhood diseases like meningitis and appendicitis, because publicly paid doctors usually skip that course, especially if they were trained in Cameroon
* Locate your nearest large animal veterinarian, and pay them well to take x-rays and MRIs
Another great friend from the north is Mr. Mayor. He also has some sage advice for us Yankees. Be sure to check out his post, but fair warning on the animated gif. Just saying...

Please take the time to comment! Click the Informed Opinion Link adjacent to the Post Title.

5 People Have Had Their Say:

The Mayor on March 22, 2010 at 11:01 AM said...

Thanks for the link, CL.

What's the matter with the gif?

Oh right, it's sexist, or something. Gotcha.

I'm oota here.

classicaliberal on March 22, 2010 at 11:05 AM said...

It's pronographic, Mr. Mayor. I thought your site was better than that. Yours is not some Jack Hanna animal smut website. It's a much more prestigious animal loving website. You know, like Captain Kangaroo or something dignified.

The Mayor on March 22, 2010 at 12:54 PM said...

It's not as if the dog wasn't cleainng up its mess.

Skunkfeathers on March 23, 2010 at 7:10 AM said...

Yeah. Michael Moore is happy today. We're almost as good at hellthscare as Cuba!

Terrance and Philip have the answer for this: Phffffffffffft!

classicaliberal on March 23, 2010 at 5:53 PM said...

I think that's where PeeBo found the idear for health care... Near Terrance and Phillip's sphincters.

 

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