Monday, August 10, 2009

Things I'm Entitled To, Because:

Entitlements. There are two intrinsic reactions to that word. If you're a liberal, it's about justice, equality and sticking it to the man. If you're a conservative, you just cringed. Entitlements, in this day and age, are government funded programs which provide some 'service' to a certain segment of the population. The reality is, if you look at the 2009 Federal Budget, entitlements combined take up more than any other part of that 2.9 Trillion Dollar disaster. Viewing the budget, and ruminating on what this country can do to better care for it's citizenry, short of stealing a higher amount of tax dollars from those who actually pay to fund such programs, I decided to take a look at the crux of the argument on both sides. The root of the solution for one side, just happens to be the root of the problem, as far as the other side is concerned. I speak, of course, about the government.

Conservatives (and I'll lump libertarians in with them) view the massive bureaucracy and burdensome regulations and redtape that inevitably come along with said bureaucracy as the root of the overriding cost issue at the heart of the 'health care crisis.' We believe that with the lifting of the heavy handed involvement of said entity, the free market and economies of scale will right the ballooning costs of health care coverage, and ultimately drive insurance cost lower. This coupled with returning health insurance to it's rightful state; catastrophic care provision, will solve 99% of the issues that people have with today's insurance providers. Leftists, on the other hand, believe that only by increasing the government's involvement can a level playing field be ensured, and thus cost and care can be controlled.

Thinking over this issue, I struggled to comprehend how government involvement in any issue can simplify it or make it cheaper. It's obvious to me that if higher government involvement in any area is needed, it's in the area of entertainment movie making. If all were right in the world, Tom Selleck and Gary Sinise would be the most cast leading men ever, and George Lucas and Sean Penn would be hungry and penniless tag-teaming at the Sunset Exit off the 405 with a 'Will Direct for Food' sign.

Can someone please explain to me why we're not entitled to food? Why aren't we entitled to shelter? Why aren't we entitled to clothing? Why aren't we entitled to a freezer full of Filet Mignon? Why aren't we entitled to land? Why aren't we entitled to a mate? Why aren't we entitled to a car? Why aren't we entitled to a Slap Chop? Why are we not entitled to free internet? Why aren't we entitled to iPhones? Why aren't some of us entitled to get this point?

So since the universe is not just, and entitlements seem to rule the day, here is a short list of items to which I am entitled, in no particular order:

2010 Aston Martin DBS
Kate Beckinsale (suck it, Paul!)
A 40 acre estate overlooking Lake Tahoe on the California side
Two American Mastiffs named Zeus and Apollo
George Clooney's shack on Lake Como, Italy
A G650 Business Jet
A Personal Chef
A time traveling DeLorean
The Wynn Hotel and Casino
Peju Province Winery
The Batmobile

There'll be more to follow don't you fret none. In this new era of entitlement, what is it you're entitled to? Let me know in the comments.

9 People Have Had Their Say:

paul mitchell on August 10, 2009 at 11:48 PM said...

As long as you are getting Kate, you should be entitled to reconstructive surgery to fix that gaping wound on her belly, too. Otherwise, you are going to have to make her wear a bag over her stomach.

ChristinaJade on August 10, 2009 at 11:52 PM said...

I am entitled to a 2500 acre compound complete with house, pool, and hot tub. I'm stealing your personal chef and DeLorean, since you got your stuff first, we have to share the wealth. I am also entitled to being able to set up an octagon to watch you and Paul fight over Kate Beckinsale.

Yep, sounds like a good time to me.

classicaliberal on August 10, 2009 at 11:53 PM said...

I do not have a #navelfetish, like a certain Brandon resident we all know and loathe. I'll take her, gaping gunshot wound and all. Hell, I'm entitled to dump her when it gets boring and shack up with Monica Bellucci for awhile...

classicaliberal on August 10, 2009 at 11:55 PM said...

CJ, I really think the #navelfetish is a deal killer with Paul... He's not willing to take on a true Metallica fan in the Octagon O' Death!

I'll give up the delorean and the chef if I can have the train from BTF III and Rachel Ray, as long as she agrees to never-ever-ever say Yummo again

paul mitchell on August 10, 2009 at 11:56 PM said...

Your wife it going to punt your nuts into your neck, son.

ChristinaJade on August 10, 2009 at 11:57 PM said...

Deal. But I get her pitbull. I'll only have about 100 in a rescue sanctuary on Christina's Compound.

classicaliberal on August 10, 2009 at 11:59 PM said...

Paul- She's entitled to.

CJ- Make sure you're entitled to the food and manual labor that goes along with caring for 100 Pitbulls. And keep Michael Vick the hell away!

ChristinaJade on August 11, 2009 at 12:01 AM said...

We won't talk publicly about the things I am going to be entitled to do to that guy.

classicaliberal on August 11, 2009 at 12:04 AM said...

CJ- You know what's coming...

You're entitled to!


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