Sunday, December 27, 2009

H.R. 666, Hunger Obstruction and Restriction; Starvation Halting Initiative Tenets

Borrowed from
If Health Care is a right, then surely Food is a Right...

Whereas, all residents of the United States are created equal; and Whereas it is the responsibility of the Congress of the United States to provide for the common defense and welfare of the residents of the United States; and Whereas from each according to their ability, to each according to their need; it is proposed this day, the 28th of December in the Year of 2009, a bill, H.R. 666, to provide for the sustenance of all residents of the United States.

H.R. 666
Title: A bill to provide authority for the Federal Government to purchase and distribute foodstuffs and nourishment for the purposes of reducing and preventing hunger as well as shafting taxpayers, to amend the United States Department of Agriculture Code of 1946 to provide incentives for food redistribution and conservation, to extend certain expiring provisions, to provide individual hunger relief, and for other purposes.

Sponsor: Rep Socialisme, Pierre J. [WI-7] (introduced 12/28/2009) Cosponsors (124)

Division A: Emergency Hunger Reduction - Hunger Obstruction and Restriction; Starvation Halting Initiative Tenets (hereinafter HORSHIT) Title I: Emergency Hunger Reduction - Unrestricted Redistributive Sustenance Collection Ratification and Withholding Directive (hereinafter URSCRWD) Authorizes the Secretary of the USDA (Secretary) to establish URSCRWD to collect foodstuffs from production locations, in accordance with the terms, conditions and policies set forth in the HORSHIT bill; and redistribute the sustenance to parties determined to be deserving as established in H.R. 6362, YOUGAVEUPYOURSOVEREIGNTYWHENWEENACTEDTHEQUALITYAFFORDABLE

Directs the Secretary to establish within the Office of Domestic Fulfillment of the Department of Agriculture an Office of Hunger Eradication and Contentment Stability, through which URSCRWD shall be implemented.

Authorizes the Secretary to: (1) designate family and corporate farms as public enterprises and agents of the federal government; and (2) establishes commodities to be seized, held and redistributed as well as designate new debtors.

Directs the Secretary to prevent unjust enrichment of involuntarily participatory family and corporate farms, including any sale of a foodstuff or commodity (with no exceptions) to any entity outside of the United States Government.

(Sec. 1963) Requires the Secretary, once URSCRWD is established, to create a public entity to seize all wealth generated as a result of foodstuff and commodity production prior to the enactment of the HORSHIT act.

Title II: Director Appropriated Mandates and Directives (hereinafter DAMN) - (Sec. 1917) Requires all information gathered by the Secretary in connection with activities authorized under the HORSHIT act, be used against any private enterprises attempting to enter the market as a for profit entity.

(Sec. Woodstock) Requires the Secretary to report to the Justice Department any free market enterprise which resists the HORSHIT and URSCRWD acts, and establishes punitive fines for any such entity in the amount of $250,000 for each violation.

Title III: Tax The Hell Out Of Them Provisions - (Sec. Marx) Provides for extraordinary income or loss treatment of gain or loss from the exchange of any applicable foodstuff or commodity by any applicable public family or corporate farm entity. Defines 'any applicable foodstuff or commodity' as anything we damn well choose.

(Sec. Teddy Kennedy) Provides for the taxation of any business, individual or entity not listed or described in this legislation, at the rate of 150% of every U.S. Dollar earned so that the collective wealth may be redistributed to ACRON, COI, United States Green Party, and The Nancy Pelosi Plastic Surgery Foundation

(Sec. Stalin) Specifically prevents the closure, dissolution or bankruptcy of any family or corporate farm in existence at the time of the authoring of this bill, and relegates the ownership, employees and 'help' (both paid and non-paid) of these family and corporate farms as indentured servants for the remainder of their natural born lives, unless they choose to become registered Democrats, donors to the Congressional Progressive Caucus, and Moonbat activists for the remainder of their ambulatory existance.

Title IV: Repealment - There ain't none, and repealment is expressly prohibited.

Call your Congressional representation and Senators to urge their support for the HORSHIT bill and the DAMN URSCRWD act of 2009.

Please take the time to comment!

6 People Have Had Their Say:

paul mitchell on December 28, 2009 at 2:17 PM said...

Dude, the Democrats are going to cut and paste this into a damn bill. You better copyright this.

classicaliberal on December 28, 2009 at 2:26 PM said...

It's refreshing to get a comment from someone who actually took the time to read the damn post.

These morons, however...

paul mitchell on December 28, 2009 at 3:00 PM said...

Dude, they are crazy. There must be a computer in the dayroom at the nervous hospital.

classicaliberal on December 28, 2009 at 3:11 PM said...

Dude, I reread my post 4 times, just to make sure that it wasn't me who was nuckin futz.

innominatus on December 28, 2009 at 5:15 PM said...

Ever see that gov't canned salmon they give out after natural disasters? Holy crap, it's like barf in a can. I hope Congress doesn't see this post, 'cuz it will doubtless set them to thinking about how fair and just it would all be for us all to eat gov't canned salmon in a spirit of brotherly unity.

classicaliberal on December 28, 2009 at 6:01 PM said...

innominatus, it's my right to have government salmon. And goddam it, I want it now. I will not sleep until HORSHIT is made law and the DAMN URSCRWD act of 2009 is enacted.


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